Executive Decision

This particular set of tambourine excruciations lacks the comeuppance factor that my quarry companion would typically dish out. I’m so used to thinking of my submissive bud as “not without its sassy comebacks,” but this time it’s waxing heavily depressive, not even bothering to mount a modest reprisal.

I’ve made the executive decision to leave it to its own devices; I don’t need a triggered sidekick lollygagging around and confusing me more than normal. Such a distraction could undermine the very essence of my oh so lucrative pastime. I’ll just let it take a little time to itself (I’m generous that way) so it may sort out its existential concerns of its own accord–mainly because I just don’t want to be subjected to the ceaseless whining. And when I say whining, I mean good ol’ fashioned day-in day-out grumbling unlike any other you’ve ever seen, the very peak of which generally verging on psychosis.

Boy, I sure do know how to pick ’em. Of all the quarry companions made available to me, I just had to choose the one with the watery puppy dog eyes. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but now I have a flat out martyr on my hands who professes to be a beacon of emotions for its less-gifted brethren of the oft-neglected sedimentary sidekick school. All I want is a cheerful little buddy that I can count on to occasionally get me out of scrapes. Is that too much to ask?

Ceremony – 18:44GMT

Enter into a ceremony of dog-eating-dog world occurrences, far enough to scrape together a lightener of dire consequences. Bother nobody too much or too many insowhere is the predilection of the ages, the constant ever-ridden ideology capable of destroying planets or hydrogen elements, now or forever in scraps, taken like pills after breakfast every morning with some cantaloupe, spoiled as chimney scraps for someone filled with more than an evening’s worth of chicken. There’s a faint spill visible across continental America named Mauna Loa, something that needs improvement for a spritz or two, charred like a gopher spiel of some varying strength, at least graphically so.

I really wish I could use my arms.

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