Whittling away the time, a robber thinks to himself, “Well, it’s now or never, and I don’t like the likes of never.” He gets into a crouch, just ready to pounce on his unsuspecting victim. Then he waits (and waits and waits) until the waiting just becomes too much to bear and he relaxes his muscles (they were starting to atrophy). Just then, a pigeon flits by, brought over by the half-eaten bagel lying on the sidewalk. “WHAAT. Oh Jeez, a pigeon. I freak out too easily.” The robber doesn’t seem to understand that no people will pass this way any time soon, as this is a particularly desolate part of town. All the waiting will make him hungry, so he packed himself a lunch. No self-respecting robber these days would go to work on an empty stomach, that’s just irresponsible.

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