Tag: Apologize

Sideshow Shrub I

One fine day
in east upper Tennessee’s Bitch Holler,
I came across a shrubbery
who deferred to me on every dang decision I made.
I mean, I assume it did.
It never actually told me so,
I just figured it had that kind of vibe.

Based on that recommendation
from my local cosmic ombudsman
regarding the malice factor (or lack thereof),
I scooped down and started
collecting this fine specimen by the roots
as tenderly as a mongrel like myself possibly could.
I more likely than not snapped a good few
tendril roots, and for that
I apologized profusely all the way home.

The burlap sack smudged dirt
all over the passenger’s seat of my
monkeyshit brown ’89 Corolla. ‘Twas then
that I surmised it could go no other way
if I wanted to get my karmic alignment
back into okay shape.

And not much time had not elapsed before
I realized the beauty of lugging around
genuine Bitch Holler dirt
in my beat-up and grimy ol’ import.

Magnum Opus

Well, seeing as I dumped the chicken wire for some crumb pastries, you can understand why my rumbling tum-tum began composing a symphony of sorts (an “ode to shortcrust” or some such), bewildering all sentient beings within a 50-foot radius.

Once I’d managed to trudge my way to the dreaded (oft-forgotten) lion cage, I immediately began questioning why I got rid of that infernal chicken wire in the first place. Clearly these lions would have had a perfectly good use for it (as far as I could see). In attempting to save face, I apologized to the few lions I saw. They didn’t know why I was apologizing. I began to explain the whole chicken wire predicament to them, but decided against insinuating that something designed for puny domestic fowl would be suitable for the kings of the jungle. Dejected, I tossed them my crumb pastries and walked away, my stomach continuing its magnum opus unopposed.