Tag: absurd

You Get the Picture

“Marry me,” is all she ever said
to the rock next to a hard place.
She didn’t actually
want to exchange vows
with a boulder, she just felt
like expressing herself to someone
who wouldn’t get carried away
with reception planning
and chicken dancing,
like the traditions of her mother
and mother’s mother (you get the picture).

She sat upon the boulder,
palms down to the cold stone,
completing a kind of silent prayer
that would, in her mind,
infuse this lifeless mass with personality.

Such Claptrap

Stem the flow of tawdry shipmates
until someone is drowning
in a case of PBR, unaware
that they could have just had water instead.

Hobbling through a brook of crystal clarity
can only unveil so much character
within a single person,
especially if they’re alone
and it’s dark outside.

There could be a little cliché moon glow
on the water’s surface to create a texture
for the story line, but
it’s definitely not necessary for our purposes here.

The visual would be somewhat stunning,
and it would be easier to see
the shadows of deer in the forest,
but again, we don’t need to rely on such claptrap.

Short of a Dozen

Sell the time
short of a dozen eggs or so,
maybe even
short of a dozen egos
if you really want
to delve into it.

I don’t have any suppositions
to be made about our cosmic lifeblood,
conscious or otherwise,
but I wouldn’t hold it against you
if you decided to speak up
about your version of things.

All in all,
twisting the fraudulent skeleton key
into some manmade lock
can only achieve one of two results.
We hope there’s something
to be revealed behind that door,
if we can even call it a door.

Sometimes we have to heave our hefts
to and fro, as though
there were no gravity
to impede our progress
through the cattle drive
we call average workaday life,
and is there anything the matter with that?

Like Moo or Something

I pelted the transmission
with a graph of some kind.
Then I stuck a needle
through the whole of middle earth,
a squishy stammer
that would amount to
nothing but a syringe
in a pile of rocks anyway.

We can’t all predict
where we’ll get those molten ideas,
but it certainly doesn’t hurt
to throw your dice into the wind
and see which cows snarf them up
when they hit the ground.
Hopefully they have big spots
that spell out words
when you look at them really close,
like moo or something.

In a Landfill Now

Dolores Hidalgo was a friend of mine, so kind to me about the hidden kneecap in my chest. Never once did she judge the logic of a patella near my left ventricle (like so many so-called friends I’ve had). She was happy enough just listening to my woes, her big wide eyes never blinking. Come to think of it, I never saw her move unless I was the one to change her position. Folks always called her a doll, which I always attributed to her immense kindness. It wasn’t until I started taking medication for my delusions that I began to realize that she was truly an inanimate object (in a landfill now).

The Hand Towels of Obscurity

We continue to linger
like the lint
in the trap of our imperial leaders,

awaiting the day
when the door
opens and an air-laden scoop digs us

out from under the hand towels
of obscurity.
From there, our only hope is

to be placed on a suitable pedestal
and hewn into
adorable pet-like creatures,

so we may be given a loving home and
provided with
adequate nutrition for the rest of

our natural lives (or until
that owner dies,
whichever happens to come first).

A Little Twangy Twinge

Tell the Grand Poobah that his sticks have no reason to be mad at me for my words. All I wanted to do was illustrate why they should prefer to be called twigs in the grand scheme of things. We all need a little twangy twinge of sound every now and then, including these sentient tree limbs. Please just relay this message to him and his (the Poobah and his Stickssociates), as I’m looking forward to a lifetime of labeling the uncanny phenomena that are becoming ever more common with each passing moment in this plant-dominated tryptosphere.