Why Poetry?

The question that I face on a daily basis usually goes like this:

There’s nothing that I’d like to do at this moment, so how do I move forward?

In my experience, what usually comes next is the postulation and defense of my abilities without any actual demonstration, save a word or two on the subject.

That’s obviously unacceptable for a person as unproved as myself. Who cares if I’ve composed over 400 poems if they haven’t reached the people who matter, the difference makers?

Well, I do.

But, how do I know that this assault of poetry is even worth the space it takes up, let alone the praise of my peers for its originality?

Let’s just chalk it up to a gut feeling.

So at this point, I’ve reinforced my narcissism and afforded myself more time to concoct my linguistic nightmares. They can only get better as I move forward.

Looking back at my first pieces, my work was bulky and unfocused; sometimes a single poem would hold the contents and themes of four or five distinct pieces. This stemmed from the idea that in order to compete with other writers, I had to jam-pack my work and out-muscle their imagery.

When I jump back to the present, four years later, my definition of a poem has dramatically shifted, and is constantly morphing according to the experience I’ve gained within the craft. I see as much validity in a two-word poem as I do in a fifteen-page one.

Now that I understand my place in this big ol’ world of artful writers, all that’s left to do is WRITE.

But of course, I wouldn’t be an artist if I could just write away the hours of the day (wow, what a rhyme).

My writing represents 1% of my time; the other 99% is existential dross and backpedaling in the name of the art. How can I write worthwhile stuff if I haven’t put the sufficient thought into it?

Some of the pieces I flip into existence don’t seem to contain much thought, and in fact resemble thin veneers of this thing we call reality (or surrealism). Don’t worry, I’ve come up with a way to explain these.

No matter what the piece’s contents or length, as long as I enter that special little cave of my subconscious through the duration of its composition, I am satisfied with the words that ensue. Quality over quantity, baby.

All this justification of the craft of poetry really makes me want to jot one out for you, so that’s exactly what I’ll do. You see, you never know when a person will gain the inspiration to create the next great work of art. Honest!

So here it is, the poem to come out of January 4, 2014 at 3:37 PM Central DST:

What’s your deal with fish and chips?
I understand the relationship between protein and potatoes,
but that doesn’t explain the cutesy phrase
falling out of the mouths of millions of unsuspecting diners
at any point during a Friday afternoon in the developed world
(and perhaps in the developing world to a lesser extent).

I know this is a loaded question to ask a waiter,
especially one who just wants to take my order already.

Don’t worry, I’ll let you go soon enough.
Just please, pay attention to me
for at least fifteen seconds more.

Sandwiches Burrow

So,
sandwiches burrow in unexpected places.

There’s not
much more
I can say
about that.

The Small People Think

Then and there a chant arose,
a star-spangled tribute
to thrown-out galoshes
and purple tuxedoes

replaced by the dozens
in true democratic form.

It took a long time
to get to this point–
we thought
we were just invincible…

Rather not stoke the flames
of this goddamn pastry warfare,
for sure it’ll mash up our brains.

But, you know
it’s not important what the small people think.
Their stupid labor is what got us here,
so let’s not belabor the point.

That Means Years

Whatever it might mean,
I don’t want anything to fly
off the handle when I float
the news into your ear canals.

The messenger is never to be shot
by the recipient, for the fatal assault
would label the assailant
with cowardice for the rest of his life,
you hear me? That means years

in soiled jumpsuits and bland meatloaf for lunch.

I’m keeping my eye on you, Brutus.
What are you, 250 pounds? Jesus, you’re huge!
I might go buy a police bullhorn
so I can give you the news from a block away.

Talking to the Drum Kit

The telestrator really had a kick tonight, didn’t you think so?
Oh, I meant stratocaster. Don’t you roll your eyes at me!

Of all times to ignore me, this is your silliest yet.
How can a person eat cereal and grin like that?

Of all the places to ignore me, this is the crummiest yet.
How can a person pay 75 cents to fill his tires with air?

Of all the methods for ignoring me, this is your grimmest yet.
How can a person shove their entire arm into a honey pot?

Are you finally going to listen to me?

Of all the asinine comebacks, this is the filthiest yet.
How can a person know if their mother serviced USO show volunteers?

Sir Yes Sir

My name is Slapdash Claptrap Dingalingdong.

S. C. Dingalingdong, to you.

I was born with this name.
My parents had no part in it.

I’ve had a combative personality for most of my life.
I joined the military, wasted some enemies in combat.

Now I’m Colonel S. C. Dingalingdong.

Just call me Sir Yes Sir.

Let’s Just Call It a River, Nosey

Anything past introspection is too much to bear–
cave-dwelling associations spring to mind, replete
with dank corners and piles of old books.

You hear it come from a minute away at about sixty miles an hour,
only to turn on a dime and squeal away with pie in its pants.

The dispatcher was a bit quick that time, but it’s no problem;
you’re used to it by now. Thought you didn’t have the time.

Squeeze it all into a sleeping bag sack and toss it over a bridge.
Who cares what the bridge covers? Let’s just call it a river, nosey.