Slithering down the steps of a cathedral like an uncouth serpent between the twelfth and the fifteenth of the month really takes a lot out of a person, especially when coupled with a lack of muffins (or even the basic implements for making those unhealthy breakfast treats). A half-hour of slithering up and down steps, cathedral or otherwise, is all it takes for exhaustion to kick in. Anyone who’s gone that far understands the amount of caloric intake necessary to fuel movement so close to the ground, and more experienced slitherers often have a bag of trail mix on their person for such excursions.

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