Fiddling like a riddled old gatekeeper
on a spoon query maintenance jag of sorts,
I turned my leg on a pivot while
anticipating the move of my well-positioned adversary.
Needless to say,
I threw off a good belt of hangtooth crown medleys that afternoon
(you should have seen the hedgeling wanderers!).
How many steps does it take in the scenario where you’re all out of gas and you need to get to the nearest town when you’re four miles away from anything remotely resembling a gas station and your shoes have holes worn through the bottoms of the soles due to that wear and tear factor you hadn’t considered until the holes were already there and you had to put the shoes on because they’re your only pair and you were actually planning to go to the shoe store but chose to order some online instead, then subsequently agonized over the selection of beautiful footwear, most of which out of your price range (but you browse anyway because you’re a masochist and pride yourself on enjoying the finer things in life, like cheeses, wines and teas) and downright impractical for your wardrobe and lifestyle anyway?
The answer is 1,296,374. That number may be exaggerated, but let’s see you come up with a better one. Jeez, everyone’s a critic.
Now, turtle power comes in two settings: stun and kill. At this time, unfortunately, there are no other settings to speak of, and we appreciate your patience as we strive to implement more effective weaponry for your diabolical pleasure.
The calendar already reads May 2nd, and I haven’t met the pre-established goal of 30 pieces for National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo). Well, that’s not exactly true. I’ve been writing throughout the month of April, and my grand total of things written easily eclipses 45.
So, since I’ve never considered myself traditional by any stretch, I will continue to post the pieces that I wrote during April. I will continue to title them the way I’ve titled the first 11 (Roman numerals are just so much fun).
The funny thing about NaPoWriMo is that it makes me clam up and unintentionally sabotage my own efforts. In previous years, I’ve never reached that 30 poem benchmark when it comes to posting them on my website, mainly because April would end and I would immediately go back to business as usual.
This year, I choose to keep on with NaPoWriMo posts, and I must assure you that I have not tampered with these pieces since they were first written (hand-written, all).
I will also make non-poetry-month-related things, since that’s generally my MO anyway.
I’m grateful for your readership, even though I don’t own any grates and my apartment is not full of them by any means. My one roommate has about three dozen grates as a part of his peculiar collection of things that resemble waffles, so there are grates around. But let me reiterate, just because a person does not own any grates does not mean he cannot be grateful.
By no means am I ungrateful. That could imply that I am against the idea of having grates, and that couldn’t be further from the truth.
What does all this mean? It means that I’m lucky enough to be able to say these things to an audience, and also that grateful can be a misleading word.