That dreaded stairway of mine… I don’t quite understand why folks are afraid to come up to my door, even in broad daylight. I suppose the spikes and schnauzers at the bottom can be a little intimidating if you’re not in the mood for obstacles, but it’s smooth sailing the rest of the way up–at least until you come across the live gargoyles.
But come on, nobody [who didn’t deserve it] has ever been attacked by these peaceful creatures. They prefer to leave well enough alone and read a good book most of the time. They’re not going to go out of their way to cause mischief, that’s what imps are for.
And you don’t have to worry about running into imps unless I invite you inside, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I only invite people with strong purple auras to join me inside my dwelling. I have, in the past, made exceptions for blue auras, since they still contain the rudimentary elements I prize highly in individuals.