One line is all it takes to fill a page.
Anyway, I’m looking across the room from under my ten dollar straw hat and I see the source of the odor: a potato chip bag with a hole through the bottom. I grab my hat and hoot at the waiter to get that sorry ass bag out of my sight, and he obliges immediately. It’s … Continue reading Proportionately
Scratching my eye usually brings a tear, but not today for some reason. Perhaps I was meant to see something important during that second of undisturbed vision. I remember seeing some curtains. Curtains? Curtains mean absolutely nothing!
You ate a burrito with my name on it in magic marker just to spite me? That’s really using your noggin. For all we know, you could have cancerous cells growing in your esophagus as we speak, burrowing themselves into the healthy tissue and setting up a lengthy picnic that could possibly migrate to the … Continue reading Chronicles of You – #5
Ramble ramble ramble, see if I care an iota. Look at my eyelid. No twitches at all. You’re not getting to me a bit. It’s tragic the way you feel you have to save face and keep up with the charade, and I admire you for trying–and look, you just keep on doing it as … Continue reading The Back Page Thought Progression
I built too many houses made of playing cards last month. I should have completed a few more brick ones, like my mother suggested 26 years ago at this point.
I hate their guts. Look at how they just hang there in the window. Tell me one time where a butcher advertised its livers in the front display and didn’t lose their business within a month. That’s exactly what I thought.
I hold this very much in contempt at the present moment. Your reaction to my drowning was simply appalling. You didn’t seem to want to do anything at all about it. Sure, you threw up your arms and started shouting at the lifeguard to get off his lazy ass, but I saw you eating a … Continue reading Chronicles of I – #12
I told my sister she should shape her ships in a short-shrift shack. She showed me she could shave sheep on shallow shores, and I sure as hell shook my head.