There’s a toucan in my way.
Its beak is too colorful.
I’m cold. Why did we come here?
The wildlife has no respect for me.
You see the way that one looked at me?
Vulgar monstrosities. I’m getting sick.
Why did you bring me here?
Do you even have an excuse at this point?
Did you ever listen to me, or are you that dumb?
Birds are the last creatures on earth
I ever wanna witness streaking across the sky.
They’re bullies and overlords
pooping on everything and chirping,
always just chirping. Drive a man insane.
Not just any man, mind you. The kind of man
who takes a gulp from a canteen
before he wrestles a black bear
on the fourth full moon of the Summer.
But there is no fourth full moon
and there never will be.