Too many lolligagging pricks sitting around drinking tea and charming snakes from baskets. Everywhere you look, reptiles succumb to the suggestive power of complacent know-it-alls.
Am I going to have to be the one to stop it? You’re cowards, all of you. Oh, so some snakes are poisonous? Some lazy fools might have a violent edge? Boo hoo; that’s the way of the world, people.
Whatever happened to suggesting alternative pastimes? Clearly these serpent-loving lumps are just looking for attention in the least difficult way, and voila, they’ve got it. A full-page spread in the Herald, for Christ’s sake. Good thing nobody reads the paper anymore.