Flanking the misogynistic brooch is an insecure medallion,
gaudy, cumbersome, more valuable than it’s worth.

Do I hear an opening bid?
I most certainly don’t.

Well people, I don’t much blame you. These things are hideous.
But in all seriousness, let’s give it the old college try.
Save the Volcanoes can really use your generous donations.
Honestly, you can buy this set and toss it in the trash for all I care.
Come on, all I need is one bid.

Oh I see, anyone who would commit funds to these atrocities is worried
that they’re doomed to never live it down in their social circles.

You’re all buffoons.
I’ll just buy them for five bucks so we can get on with the auction.
Sold to the man with common sense for five bucks.

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