Hot Dog Fishing

Every bear has a day of monopoly as it hunts salmon, thinking: “well, I don’t think I could do anything wrong during this fishing trip. Hey Larry, check out this one-hander!”

The salmon in the stream know they’re approaching a creature who’s in the zone, and most of them still try to escape its clutches, not figuring the percentage chance that they have of getting away is actually quite high (especially since this particular bear fills up on five salmon, where most other adults like six or even seven).

Larry watches this streaky bear attempt a one-handed catch of a leaping salmon, and he knows such things rarely happen unless the fisher were to impale said fish on its claws, and most salmon are substantial enough to simply bounce off and swim away, or at the very worst lose a few scales and become a laughingstock.

The salmon smacks our hero square in the pad of his paw, only to see another paw close in around its head, securing the catch.

“Hey Doorman, you said one-hander, not two-hander!”

“Dude, I don’t have thumbs, and I deadened the fish on my paw before getting the second one in there. You’re just jealous of my skills.”

Larry is a bit jealous of Doorman, but his male instinct won’t let him admit it.


Author: Aidan Badinger I am a poet. I write poems. Titles and subjects and subsequent readership are all part of one fragmented figment of our universe, and it's nice that we take it so seriously. Hopefully the craft remains and grows stronger for our children.

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