One Way or Another

Lampharos on the rocks with a lime
is the number one drink of Lesser Turkmenistan,
at least according to the
“2173 Guidebook of Local Haunts”.
Although this is an antiquated drink and guidebook
in most parts of the world,
I have chosen to go about this journey
as a naïve traveler, unaware
of the recent local customs.
This method tends to treat me well,
as long as I’m minding my manners
and pretending that I may be affluent
in one way or another.

Worse for Wear

Prancy old gillibuddies throw knowledge around like softball medleys–paints display arrangements of pansies unknown to the local eye. Dancing sharpens the highly-regarded nasal passage remedies, whereas shanties never make fine remnants of dipstick ruination. There’s wreckage everywhere and I ain’t got no time for bird sex. “Fancy old patina-laden graham cracker factories have less of a use today than ever before,” Pantsy thinks to himself while milking his goats at least twice a day, unless he’s feeling a tad sluggish.

Antsy Nancy glares defiantly at the bronze statue of Labor Days past while she prays that the latest lancet treats her better. Worse for wear, it’s about time these surgeries start paying their dividends.