ZSR

Zen Shoe Rodney eats wherever he wants
for only a dollar, never tips less than 1,000%.
Zen Shoe Rodney always walks on air.

God’s KneePod plays only the classic hits
from the comfort of just below His exalted lap
(lap construction brought to you
by the good and hardworking deities
at God-Be-Built Enterprises).
Only one KneePod exists, integrated seamlessly
into His sacred patellar tendon.
Good luck getting your mitts on it.

If one were to estimate its monetary value,
they would immediately burst into flames.
The concept of currency
may not be associated
with such an innovation
in pious music listening.

Zen Shoe Rodney boasts the spirit of a chipmunk,
but only for that observant type of folk.
Zen Shoe Rodney always walks on air.

A Nice Hand

Throw the counsel
to the primates,
the primitive speculative
kind of people
that would lean to a window
and spew all their feelings
like bleating little lambs.

Have a porta john
installed in your backyard
as a prank against the logic
of a man askew from wisdom.
Put the plank of a parrot
in your hair to see if you care
enough to try on a golf glove
while you commemorate
the skies of the burgundy chipmunk.
Give them all a nice hand.