Something about the vicar
doesn’t inspire much confidence
in me, especially when
I’m trying to keep my balance
on this five-foot stool.
Who thought to make
a piece of furniture
so unwieldy? Why did I buy it
in the first place?
Tag: absurd
Little Stellar Status
Hippo ate a dipper
of little stellar status
just this afternoon,
swishing his brandy
in preparation
for a siesta
to last seven hours
or six and a half
if he wants
to stop by the bank
before closing time.
All That Remains
A ham and turkey omelette
is all that remains
from what used to be
a proud civilization,
destroyed just this morning
after coffee.
Lazy Meteorologists
In the weather
and aftermath of said weather
(not something to be foretold,
but guessed at by thousands
of lazy meteorologists),
we shall light the spark
of a righteous flame
and carry it with us
in our pockets.
You understand
that our pants
must be flame-retardant.
You may find such a garment
at your local department store,
wherever pants are sold.
Cult Status
It’s as though we’re filling a leaden cup
with duck blood to be consumed
by the pharaoh of string cheese.
Well, I won’t tolerate such behavior
for the rest of this semester.
It constitutes cult status, you understand.
I have no desire to mix myself
in your intransigence. Damn you and your
thinking ahead for the sake of humanity
and the powerful leader we will all come to know
as Trumpola. Trumpola— the fine carnival barker,
the one they sneer at and jeer at
until the cows come home and make us all knife
into the water from at least 10 meters in height.
A few of us will bellyflop and really leave
a nice red mark. One of those red marks will resemble Oklahoma.
Hedgeling Wanderers!).
Fiddling like a riddled old gatekeeper
on a spoon query maintenance jag of sorts,
I turned my leg on a pivot while
anticipating the move of my well-positioned adversary.
Needless to say,
I threw off a good belt of hangtooth crown medleys that afternoon
(you should have seen the hedgeling wanderers!).
Distraught and Laughing
Theirs
is a sense
of foreboding pain,
nothing I can describe
without beginning
to seize uncontrollably
until the dogs find me,
distraught and laughing,
rolling in the gutter,
where I don’t remember winding up.
WHARVED 