Falsified drugstore positions
will do you no good, Chucky Dan.
First you’ll want to get at the razor blades
without customer assistance–good luck
if you don’t have a crowbar
or similar striking/prying agent.
Before you know it,
you’ll be halfway down the rabbit hole
of convenience addiction.
It won’t be long now
until you find yourself
checking into hotel rooms
just to assess the price of french fries
(weighted against the corresponding preparations).
Trust me on this one, CD.