Well, tell me something I don’t want to know about the state of our government, and you’re more than likely to get the ram’s horns. You won’t be getting them from me, I don’t have a ram’s horns at my disposal. I’m just saying, the universe has a strange way of balancing itself out. Anyway, what do you think I am, an Aries? You’ll find no fiery quadrupeds around me, trust me. I’m a Gemini. Last time I checked, neither of my twins had horns. One’s a small guy, about the size of Napoleon (not quite as egocentric, though pretty close), and the other’s the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro, hovering amongst the clouds and smiting the negative forces plaguing his little buddy. Together they form an unconventional superhero duo, ridding the planet of unbridled assumptions about the relationship between dogs and humans. Such a cause may seem arbitrary to the untrained observer, but rest assured, it shapes the entire scope of human existence (at least on this particular plane).

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