Just so you know, a limited quantity of burlap satchels has graced our splendid corridor, enough to take a family of six to the Poconos or even Appalachia for a long weekend, with enough room left over for a two-day side trip to wherever they so desire, as long as they don’t need to travel over 400 miles to get there. 350 or so would be just fine, but we can’t allow for any more distance to be put between them and their original destination, or their actions will be held in contempt of the Family Travel Journal’s recommendations for optimal trip management. The last time a family took a side trip longer than 400 miles from their original destination, they drove straight into a tornado’s path and flew through a nearby barn, totaling their minivan and scarring their kids for life. Fortunately, nobody was injured.

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