In harsher climates, you may find a legal document that states the importance of wearing layers and walking with the wind instead of pigheadedly skirting the law of the land and freezing off your nipples for the sake of being contrary and seemingly nothing else. Now, if you’re a man, your nipples are just cosmetic features to be risked on a regular basis–if you so choose–but once they’re gone, your days of flaunting physical features are numbered. No non-nippled man will ever be taken seriously in these parts, on principle.

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