No time for minimalist distractions,
we need to get to the heart of the matter here.
There’s too much cheese on the train tracks,
and I worry that the next passing train
won’t even know what kind of slop
they’ll be tracking on their wheels.

Sure, it’ll probably wear off
after a few hundred yards, but
the claim of having 100%
cheeseless tracks and wheels
will fall on deaf ears–assuming
that this whole affair is disseminated
widely on social media, which
I’ll be happy to do for the sake of
train passengers and track managers everywhere.