Good for you, coming out of that coma so soon. We’re glad to have you back! Now, you’ve been out of commission since three Fridays ago. Do you want to be updated about that time, or are you the type who wants to find out about the past fortnight and change on your own? How about some friendship updates– you can’t find those on the internet so readily, because we now prefer not to use social media as a whole. It’s been lovely so far. We’re nine days removed from when we decided as a group to cease all digital interactions in favor of real ones, as a tribute to you, actually. We logged out of the virtual rat race just like you, buddy.

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