The peanut butter’s chilly, straight from the fridge. It’s not spreading very well. The more I try to smooth an even surface across the bread, the more crumbs I’m sloughing off (onto the floor). By the time I’m done with this mess, I’ll be lucky to have half the bread I started out with. Then I’ll have to get out the vacuum and dispatch with the mess I just made in the kitchen, only to notice that as I clean the floor in there, the rest of the apartment will also need a cleaning. Only when I’m done vacuuming the rest of the floor will I notice the cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling, which then must be removed to match the cleanliness of the floors. After that, the rest of the surfaces between the floor and ceiling will need dusting, just so I can have some equilibrium.

Once that’s done I’ll break out a beer and finally eat that peanut butter toast (now cold). I can worry about the giant snot monster in the corner some other day, I just got a bunch of good work done and I deserve this beer.

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