The car door could use some WD-40. Hell, my knees could use some WD-40 while we’re at it. You’re probably not the right person to grease up my joints, you just work on cars. Do you know a guy who could fix me up with a minimally-invasive procedure of some kind? I really wish my joints were on the outside like the Tin Man’s. Well, why not? I’m sure it can be done for the right price. There’s probably a guy for that too. I have seventy-eight dollars at my disposal, I’ll bet I can have something done if my insurance picks up most of it. I can only imagine the newfound flexibility and freedom of movement; I’d have an unfair advantage over most folks. But you know what? I’d probably be disqualified from participating in any dance competitions. Never mind, I can never give up my right to get funky in front of judges. Just the WD-40 on the car door, please. Thank you.

Advertisements