Rate this scenario on a scale of one to pineapple: Aunt Johnny gallops into the backyard with a mop on her head in place of what most people would expect to be a wig. As this mop is still dripping from the last time it was used to clean floors, it’s quite obvious that Aunt Johnny was desperate for a head covering and had nowhere to turn but the local elementary school’s janitor’s closet (pardon me, custodial office). Aunt Johnny is oblivious to such critical social missteps, and chooses to ignore the stares as she streaks through the residential neighborhood. Everyone in a three-block radius can smell a particularly enchanting combination of bleach and pine-scented floor cleaner, though only 19% of said sniffers will ever understand why this aroma wafted past them.

Advertisements