W: I would like to produce a play.

C: That’s admirable. Who are the characters?

W: Oh, no. There won’t be any characters.

C: I’ve never heard of a play without characters.

W: You’ve been living under a rock, my friend.

C: I don’t understand why you have to point that out every time we get together. It’s rude and hurtful, especially in public places.

W: Jesus.