Donate a pigeon to the Learning to Fly Foundation today, before our birds all take to the sea in the search for more plentiful food. There’s no way a pigeon would ever dip under the surface, even if all the other birds were doing it. Each flighted creature donated to our foundation will do wonders for this city’s infrastructure and self-esteem, whether or not these feathered friends contribute to anything in the way of industry. Let these winged guardians represent a token of our tireless pursuit for a more peaceful world.

Once upon a time, not too long ago, we attempted to capture the essence of total prosperity. We stopped at nothing to attain a semblance of that pipedream. After going into seventeen billion dollars of needless debt, we instead focused on the intrinsic qualities of things; we explored what differentiated them from the overwhelming majority of all other entities in the known universe. Our research mostly revolved around the acquisition of knowledge concerning the proper way to brush one’s teeth, tie one’s shoes, mow one’s lawn, etc. Through the devoted research of mundane tasks, we’ve reached the understanding that allows us to navigate the world’s blatantly obvious yet surprisingly unexcavated solutions for best living practices. No matter a person’s stature or, otherwise, rank and file status, the simplest acts are often times the most indicative of their originators’ intelligence quotients.