There are only so many ways to count your Gretchens as they flow across the gables and valleys and spritzers and hoodwinked masses of goat children (they prefer to be called kids). No matter, your Gretchens will come to a pass and deliver what you believe to be gracious pigmentry and something of an elusive Charles-o-meter before the time you are due to go in for surgery. As occasions such as this are widely extolled for their courtesy and generous charitable donations, we mustn’t forget the reason why our money makes us so powerful. It’s the Godlike influence, right? I just wanted to be clear.

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