I’d Rather Stand


Hamster wheels sinking in dump muck
don’t generally sound like a wise investment,
but this raccoon doesn’t think so.
His hands, those hands that make you think:
“Well isn’t he just a cute little guy!”
pry at the wheel to dislodge it
from under a dishwasher, and his back
looks tighter and tighter after every attempt.
I would go over there and help him,
but I’d rather stand on the asphalt
with this voice recorder and make fun of him.
The thing probably has rabies anyway.

What would a raccoon want with a hamster wheel?
He’s obviously too big for it
to fulfill its intended purpose.
There must be some kind of intrinsic value
to a cylindrical mass with steel bars
for one circumferential wall… sometimes
I think animals could have heightened motivations
for developing monetary systems and markets
to share their ingenuity, and–oh wait,
he just likes it because it’s shiny.

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