Category: Poetry

Before They Even Milked

Exasperating nothings
with a fever for forethought
and a riddle basin for catching
unbequeathed daisies–follow not,

for the least of your troubles
would become the most.

Guarantees rarely govern small towns
in the third month of a blizzard,
but you can set your watch
to the puckered up old mouths
going to meetings and complaining
about the heat not working when it should.

It’s not enough for them
to have survived through all they know.
They must complain for the sake
of the younger generations
who otherwise would never have found out
about the trying way the world used to run.

Everything felt like an uphill marathon
with bare feet in shifting sand dunes
on the third hottest day in recorded history.

The hottest day ever recorded
came before they even milked their first cows,
and they have stories [oh they have stories]
about how their daddies rocked them to sleep at night.

Kind of Sane–Behind the Transaction

Whoever (besides you) could have thought of putting Betsy White in a limousine before her operation? All common sense stands to reason with you, but you seem to take no mind. Precautionary measures should have been taken to at least notify any kind of sane individual as to the negligent way you prepared to take care of the patient. I, for one, am appalled at the limousine company’s behavior for going along with your scheme and not asking a single question, as though they only cared about the money they’d been promised ahead of time. I don’t care if a business needs to take any income it can get, as long as they ask a courtesy question or two about the intentions behind the transaction. Then I’d be spared all of this embarrassment.

Means the Cops

Stop that there, ya hear?
It’s not time for more snow
until I tell you
it’s time for more snow.

Last time you didn’t heed my wishes,
I was forced to raise my voice
and bang on the pots and pans for four hours,

to the chagrin of my family and next-door neighbors.
Only when you finally decided to pull
that cloud from over my neighborhood
did I relent. I’m fully prepared to do the same again,

even if it means the cops will have to get in on the action.

Love

The well-adjusted, socially-conscious
representation of Man’s better half
is fully cognizant of just how shitty
a person he really is, but she can’t help
hoping there’s some way to change
his behavior in a permanent way.

She’ll undertake a relationship as a challenge,
a ceaseless battle to be fought until:

a) she wins

b) she gets fed up with the whole thing

c) she dies while suffering under unlimited contractual obligation.

Frosty’s Eviction

I won’t drag out the inevitable if it means that you’ll turn into a puddle on the floor before I’m even getting to the point of my visit. It pains me to be the errand boy for these kinds of things, even if I am getting paid handsomely.

You’ve undoubtedly noticed how much things are heating up around here, and you probably wouldn’t be surprised to hear that your landlord doesn’t much like your style of living. I chalk it up to good old-fashioned prejudice and ignorance.

That being said, he’s giving you 48 hours to pack up and find another place to live. He wants to wish you good luck in the future, especially when it comes to affording a place where you can let your popsicles just sit out on the kitchen table.

Shrug and Go

Everything falls
on top of everything else
in the waystation
of our shattered consciousness,

building pressure
and adding weight
where a sane person
would shrug

and go about the day
as though uncompromised
by circumstance and accumulation–

aware of the fact,
ignoring it for progress
[or so they say].

Unlit Cigar

There’s nothing
like constantly haranguing
the world into submission

with your evocative words
and pro-life agendas,
especially if

you wear tailored suits
and carry an unlit cigar
with you wherever you go.