XCIX


T: “I’m sick and tired of this situation, constantly running around and spitting out rhetoric at every person I see, able-bodied or otherwise. Who knows, if they can’t perform daring feats on a high wire, that doesn’t mean they don’t know how to recruit that kind of talent.” R: “What the hell are you yammering Continue reading XCIX

LXIII


The following text will constitute post number 900 since Wharved’s inception just over 6 years ago. I’m very proud of this number! While it’s not quite 1,000, it’s still a whopper, and serves as a boon to my self-confidence as a poet and writer of absurdity. Now that I have this little intro out of Continue reading LXIII

Croissant


“Is there any chance I can get butter on the side?” “This croissant is already loaded with butter.” “Yes, but that butter only went into the composition of the croissant. I need surface butter that I can bite into, you understand.” “I’m sorry, but we don’t have pads of butter available.” “You could have just Continue reading Croissant

More Tambourine


Jimmy, Telly and Cliff stand in front of Jimmy’s open garage, stiff after hauling car parts around. “We need more tambourine,” Jimmy said with exasperation. Telly looked at Jimmy quizzically. “We don’t have a tambourine.” “What kind of a band doesn’t have a tambourine?” “We’re not a band.” Telly snuffed out his cigarette with his Continue reading More Tambourine