As I hold the 4×4″ carpet sample to the floor, I try my best to visualize an entire expanse of it as the power of my imagination is challenged by the habitual tapping of fingernails on a wooden armrest just a few feet from the back of my head. I’ve learned to stop asking about Continue reading XXXII


The lake, once robust and visited often, drained quickly last week in a giant whirlpool that ripped through the homes of countless fish and waterbound creatures, taking most of them for the ride down. Current science cannot explain where the water went, as there’s no hole to be found in the bed of dry sediment. Continue reading XXXI


Dump what’s expected of you into a pile of rotting wood– covered with mold and crawling with bugs–and toss it into the fire when its turn comes around. It’ll get smoky and irritate you if you stand too close (pondering the necessity of holding other people’s esteems above your own), so keep your distance as Continue reading XXX


A savvy coffee shop owner must make said business inhospitable to those patrons who have chosen to frequent the establishment with low batteries. Only those prepared with sufficiently-charged gadgets may enjoy a prolonged stay without feeling like a shunner of technology or, heaven forbid, a kind of beatnik poet who only writes by hand–to soak Continue reading XXIX


Make it your duty to ensure that a chutney wrangler really works for his living. When seeking fine wild chutneys, request one of every variety in his catalogue, even if some aren’t in stock and you don’t have a use for most of them anyway. Keep the workingman on his toes so his trade will Continue reading XXVIII