“It all stems from my fear of oranges.” “Oranges as in the fruit, or oranges as in the hues?” “Don’t even get me started on Hughs. I have a cousin named Hugh who puts his feet in suitcases six times a day. Try to figure that one out.” “I meant hues as in… never mind. … Continue reading Hews
Too many lolligagging pricks sitting around drinking tea and charming snakes from baskets. Everywhere you look, reptiles succumb to the suggestive power of complacent know-it-alls. Am I going to have to be the one to stop it? You’re cowards, all of you. Oh, so some snakes are poisonous? Some lazy fools might have a violent … Continue reading Herald
The tollway ground its feet in muck today to boost a no good scoundrel past the cops. But why, you ask? Make law enforcement try. They have to nab their man, finger their perp, throw the book at him, put him in the clink, throw away the key, take away his stuff, serve him all … Continue reading Entrance Exam
For the most part–as we say around here–no longer does the swan neck riverboat captain hang a hopeful liturgy dispelling the climate of zesty zebra hooves in the sand; an antelope gawks at this critical misstep, but only for a second–it flees from a cackling hyena whose bark is much worse than its bite.
It’s rare that I post twice about myself without a poem. I could go through this site’s archives and try to prove just how rare it is (probably lower than 1%), but you’ll just have to take my word for it. My inspiration used to be a sound; the beginning of the first word that … Continue reading Inspiration Shift